Reflections on The 5 Love Languages
"The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Don't waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you love someone, you will presently come to love him."
My March read was The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Can we first take a moment to celebrate that it's February 15th and I'm already done with my March book! Shout out to vacations with plenty of time for reading. Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Black Love Day. This book was most appropriate for me to finish on this here Valentine's Day. Before I give you my reflections, I'm going to give some background.
This book was written by a marriage counselor based on the premise that we all give and receive love in our own unique ways and that learning how the people in our lives receive and give love can help us form lasting, strong relationships. This concept does not solely apply to our romantic relationships, but also to familial relationships, friendships and work relationships.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
We each operate in 1 to 2 primary love languages. My love languages are equally quality time and physical touch. After spending the week with my best friend and my mom, my love tank is overflowing. This was the most time I've spent with my best friend since we left college in 2009. We discussed so much this trip and got back to being our awesomely goofy selves. When I tell y'all my heart is full, believe me.
Fun in the sun with my best friend and mommy
The language I operate in the least is gifts. That doesn't mean that I don't feel loved when receiving gifts, it just means that gifts cannot be substituted for quality time and physical touch as a means for expressing love. Remember that guy I mentioned in my Year of Yes reflections? He sent me an awesome gift a few days before I wrote that post. It wasn't just the fact that he thought to send me something, it was the thought that went into it that made me feel so appreciated. It was knowing that during our quality time he really was listening to the cues I gave him. And the note that accompanied the gift definitely didn't hurt either.
"It's so fluffy! I'm gonna die!" (Brownie points if you know what movie that quote is from!)
Reading this book has taught me so much about the relationships I have. It gave me insight into my relationships with my parents and why my relationship with my mom has gotten so much better since I went to college. It has opened a new door of communication with my closest friends, particularly those who have also read the book. It has given me hope when it comes to dating and relationships.
Having loving relationships is definitely important when it comes to living a healthy life. When our love tanks are full we are able to be happy and happiness is an essential component for healthy living. If you find yourself stuck in a rut in any of your relationships, I highly recommend that you and your people read this book or at the very least take the test to discover your love languages. As for me, I look forward to applying what I learned to all of my relationships going forward.
Want your own copy of the book? Get it here. I read the singles edition, but there are several different editions of the book.
Have you read a 5 Love Languages book or taken the test? If so, has it helped you in your various relationships? Drop a comment below and subscribe for future updates.
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